Its all in the mind.

That day I had given my new bike for the first service. Hence I had to go to the office in the old bike. The problem with the old one is that its in Pondicherry registration and I have not paid the Karnataka Road tax so that I can drive it. One attracts heavy fine if not followed the rules.

And here I go, driving, with my heart panting as if I have done something terribly wrong. To my bad luck, its one of such days where in each and every nook and corner there is a policeman standing with the Receipt book of his. Huh! A left turn and there he is. I quickly look for the truck going past me and cruise behind it so that the police man doesn't watch me. Oops, Just when 'I' was about to cross the signal, it turns red. And there I have to stop. Now, heart pumps even faster. The man overseeing the traffic can see me clearly and more clearly, the number plate in my bike. I make frantic efforts to turn the handle bar to an angle from which he cannot see it, and was acting to be very casual. The count down is ticking 85, oops that's nearly one and a half minute. It was like an hour and half for me. And at last it turns green and allows me to go past the Stop line. I feel as if I just cleared the tenth standard. To reach office, I still had to clear the higher secondary and then 8 semesters in college. Yeah! That's exactly the number of traffic signals that I need to cross through daily. At last, I somehow manage, thanks to the heavy bangalore traffic, I always had some vehicle to hide behind, and reach Lavelle Road, the one in which my office is located. Just a turn left and within 60 meters, I could reach the office parking lot. And there I see our man, sitting pretty in his Pulsar!, that too right in front of the two wheeler park entrance of my office. Carefully observing, I realized that he was there to drop someone. My heart beat slows down as I got nearer and nearer. Huh!!

I was thinking about this even today. I pass through the same set of traffic signals daily. And there is absolutely no doubt that policeman need to be there at all signals and junctions to maneuver this kind of traffic. But still, when I travel in the new bike, with all required documents intact, I don't worry about all this. The reason for all these feelings and thoughts was because, I was more aware of the fact that I am doing something which is wrong and against the law. Don't we get the same feeling when we tell someone a lie? Its exactly the same thing when one falters against the moral law. It just keeps pricking for a long time.

Its all in the mind.

Argument - Self thoughts

Argument is something which I hate. I just dont want to be in there, when there is an argument. I hate to be in either side of an argument. People express thier views. I also have something to say on it. But I do not do it. Except when there is an absolute need for it. Yes I do put my views across, but I feel I do not always.

In some occassions I just keep mum when someone talks, as if I accept each and evrything that the opposite says. I am not an introvert by any means. But still why? But I also realise that I need some time to think before I can talk. Also it could be because of the fact that I do not like to hurt anyone because I say something which someone does not agree, particularly if that someone is very much elder to me.

So is this something I need to change myself?